The communication rules that are developed among cultures are expected by those around us and they become "norms". When a person does not conform by following these communication rules we begin to learn when we are born, the person is often considered to be "different" and many times do not "fit in" society. So much of our society is based on conformity that when people deviate from these social norms in their communication style whether it is by choice or due to their genetic make-up they are often ostracized.
Rules and conformity are essential in society in order to maintain control and prevent chaos. The goal of this blog is to create awareness for those who are not able to learn the various social communication skills and rules as easily as others. Many individuals will not remember being taught how to communicate or interact with others. However, for some individuals, especially individuals with neurological disorders such as ADD, ADHD and Autism, learning to effectively communicate does not come easily. They do need to be taught these social and communication skills, and it takes time. Too often in our schools, work and in social settings, society negatively labels those who are unable to effectively communicate.
Often it is taken for granted how easily many individuals are able to learn to communicate on their own with little guidance, simply by observing the world around us and participating in social interactions. Learning to communicate does not come so easily to everyone and I believe educators need to more aware of this. As in the case of most activities we participate in, learning is an ongoing process and the more experience we gain with a given skill, the better we become.
The activity of sitting back to back with someone and trying to carry out a conversation is a great example of how an individual whose communication skills are not developed may feel when having a direct conversation with another person. Our natural instinct is to want to turn our head, make eye contact and look at the person we are talking to. When you are not able to do that you almost feel awkward and it can be difficult to carry on a meaningful conversation. What if it was not your automatic response and your mind does not tell you to perform these communication gestures. You would be aware that "something" is different about the way you communicate and relate to others, as well as the way others communicate and relate to one another, but you have a difficult time figuring it out. One can only imagine that this would lead to feelings of frustration, anger and the feeling of not wanting to communicate at all. This in turn can further alienate one in a social setting or society in general. It is our job as educators to recognize these individuals and to provide the encouragement and support they need to become effective communicators and ensure they are not labelled in our classrooms.
As the parent of a six year old boy with ADHD, I am very aware of the social challenges that come with neurological disorders. Although I had heard of these challenges before, and on many occasions worked with children with neurological disorders, I did not truly understand the various challenges these individuals face, until I had my son. It is not that individuals with neurological disorders are not capable of developing effective communication skills; it is that it may require a lot of work, time and patience to achieve something that seems to come so easily and naturally to others. The role of educators is essential in supporting these individuals and taking the time to work with them.
I encourage everyone to think back to the class activity referred to above and remember how it felt! Next time you are working with someone who has difficulty communicating, remember that communicating effectively does not come as easily and naturally as we assume for all. Take the time to make a difference in their lives and ask yourself what you can do to help!
My son Rielly- Age 6
